Photo Hunt #2 “I love . . . . “

16 11 2007

 

tnchick.com

 

This is a good topic. I was hunting, diving and desperately searching for a photo that represents something I love. I came to one conclusion I love everything. With that comes the impossible task of just picking one photo. So for your enjoyment, my satisfaction, and just the beauty of sharing the people I love I created this.

 

I love. . . . my life right now.

Where I am at. Where I live. I love where my life is at this moment. I live in a place where I am constantly surrounded by beauty and awe inspiring views are simply moments away. And when you want to feel alone it’s only a few steps away and it’s just you and endless skies.

I love. . . . my friends.

Over the last 4 years I have found out who my true and real friends are. Never swaying, never judging, never faltering, and above all ALWAYS loving friends. Each of these people have taught me so much. They showed me how to be confident again. How to open up. How to trust. I don’t know how I could ever repay them for all that they have done, but I love them as my own family.

Above ALL. . . .

I love. . . . my family.

I would be nothing without them. I need them to add the sanity to my insane life. They are a constant reminder why love and family are NEVER over rated in this selfish cruel world. They pick me up before I even feel down. Why am I writing this? For anyone that has a family they know and understand what I feel. I can’t explain it, but I really don’t know who or what I would be without them.

So in the end it comes down to two pictures. Pictures of the most important influences in my life.

I love. . . . my saviors.

The first picture is my dad with my son. One of the greatest things my dad has said to me is, “From the first love in my life you have now given me my second.” My dad took me in when I was at my lowest and he did it with open arms and endless love. Something I thought I lost.

The second picture are my classmates, my professors and I at our college graduation. They showed me what real friends are, what trust and faith in people can really bring you, and they pushed me to do better everyday. Without their encouragement and help I would have never finished or continued going to school.

 

I know this should have only been one picture, but giving such an open ended topic – especially love – it’s impossible. Especially when you have a life blessed with tons of love.

 

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I am so attached I’m scared

11 10 2007

When I put my son to bed I feel 1 of 2 things. First being, “whew finally asleep and some peace and quiet. Time to clean house.” Second, there goes another day older. Another day away from being my precious baby. Of course the second feeling being the most common.

I wish we didn’t have to sleep. That we could just live without. Then it would be an extra 6-10 hours a day I could spend being closer to my son. Every night I am so afraid that I’m missing something. I don’t know what, but I know I just hate (and love) that there are days that I am so amazed by how much he has grown and how mature he is now. He isn’t my tiny 22 inches, 9 lbs 3.3 ounce baby anymore. He’s this 3 feet 3 inches and 35lbs little man. Who yesterday told me he loved his new outfits from Wal-mart because it was so “gangsta”, lol.

I will not deny the fact that I love watching my son grow up and slowly (but not slow enough) become this amazing little man. It’s all going way too fast for me. I don’t have enough memory sticks to take enough photos, I’ve been way to lame to buy a camcorder to record the last 2 years of his life, and I don’t have nearly enough energy to keep up 24/7.

So he lays here next to me and as I look at him I wonder “what happened the last 3 years 10 months and 2 days because I could have sworn I just brought you home with me for the first time yesterday. ” I sit here with tears in my eyes, although there is joy in my heart fear resides there next to it. I’m scared of him growing up too fast. I want him to be my little baby forever. I know it’s never possible and ridiculous to say, but I know that play dates will evolve into sleep overs, friends will turn into girlfriends, pres-school turns will turn into high school, and those damn girlfriends will turn into wives who are stealing my baby away from me!

Maybe that last part wasn’t necessary but dammit it’s true. But all I can do is try to capture as many if not all the memories I can and accept the fact that he will grow up, but no matter what he will always be my baby. My number 1. My everything.

Now I wonder how old he will be when he kicks ME out of HIS bed.