Officially Unofficial

22 01 2009

Maybe it’s Unofficially Official, but whatever it is, I’m semi-engaged.

According to Preston it doesn’t count because I asked. But it does because I did ask and he said yes.

That’s mind blunder (didn’t want to cuss) if I ever did hear one. 

Either way, according to him, we aren’t officially engaged until he asks me. Which is weird, considering that we both know that we are getting married next year and that I’ve already started make mental notes and catergorizing our wedding in my  head.

But no, he’s an old school romantic and things have to be perfect. He NEEDS the romantic story to go with how he proposed to me, my reaction, his special setup, yada yada yada.

Dammit I’d be happy if he proposed to me with a 25cent vending machine ring at McDonalds. (Not that I want a 25cent ring.)

I’m becoming quite jealous envious of everyone getting married. My co-worker is getting married this October. The same guy that mastered avoiding wedding issues with his girlfriend for a couple years now. *le sigh*

Not to mention a certain important figure in my life is getting married for the 3rd time and has only been with her for a couple months. I’m still undecided/neutral about that.  That’s a story for a whole other day.

But I am quite amazed that I changed my status to engaged on Facebook and I was so graciously ninja about it that no one notice. Yey me! I don’t want to necessarily want to explain to everyone it’s not official yet, because then I turn into looking like the crazed girlfriend that wants to chain tie down my illusive boyfriend. Which might be semi true, but not. 😛

If it’s not known already, I’ve been allowed to choose the wedding date if you didn’t know before its 10-10-10. I never truly realized how hard it is to choose a wedding date until now. Not even during my first marriage did I have a hard time.

For J and I, we choose the day we started dating. Not a whole lot of thought, but then again we were just giving his parents a day so they could shut up. :X

I was kind of hinting at doing the same thing, but since after 4 years we haven’t decided if we started going out on the 23 or 24th of December made it hard. Not to mention its RIGHT BEFORE Christmas and just AFTER Nyx’s birthday, I didn’t want our wedding to steal the thunder from either events. Plus December is already a REALLY expensive month for us, anniversary/wedding would only make it harder for us.

So we went through ALL the months. But all the months have to meet my criteria.

  1. I don’t like odd numbers. I drives me crazy, but if it must be an odd number, when all the numbers are calculated together it must equal an even number. (Ex: 1-13-10 (24)) Yea I’m kind of cuckoo like that.
  2. If at all possible, even numbers across the board.
  3. Not a single day in February (Not my month), August (It’s already special enough since my birthday falls here), or November (I’d rather focus of Black Friday during this month).
  4. Preferably a weekend, Friday – Sunday.

I know I’m really bad.

So January was out because its too close to the beginning of the year. February was out simply because it’s February. March was a maybe, but it’s an odd month so that means I’d have to choose and odd day which left my options to 5, 7, 13, 19, 21 or the 27. Of which none really jived with me. April was a maybe. June was a no because too many damn birthdays. Preston’s on the 1st, Roxanne on the 3rd and Kyra on the 18th. Too many occasions already. July was a no because it’s odd and its starts getting pretty hott around then. August is no because it’s my month. September was a no because my dad’s birthday is on the 18th. October is a yes because it’s a 10, which is a good number and Halloween wouldn’t mind if I still it’s thunder. Plus I love the fall. November is a no because weird stuff happens to me during this month. December for pretty obvious reason.

So we are left with April and October. Both awesome months. But then I realized 10-10-10. The perfect day. Sure why not. And that’s how our wedding date came to be.  Plus 3 10s, 3 being Preston’s favorte number.

After reading that I feel bad for Preston, he has to marry my psycho number-math-picky-crazed ass.

Poor Guy.





Hello 2009!!!

1 01 2009

So I’m taking up a new “thing”, kind of a new years resolution.

I am participating in Blog 365. And I know judging on my past – being MIA and/or hiatus for weeks on end – I have no clue how long this is going to last me. But I shall try nonetheless. So Blog 365 is exactly as the name tells it. In some way or another I will write a blog entry everyday this year. It will either be on here, my son’s blog, or my project car blog. It also counts if I go old school and just write in my journal. Seeing that I have yet to touch any of our boxes and having no clue when I will ever get to it I may never find my journal. Most likely all my entries will be in a blog format.

Things have been interesting this past month. I caught a cold on the 9th of December which then turned into the full blown influenza on the 19th of which I needed to go to the ER, poked at, injected and knocked out. Interesting experience, which honestly  I don’t care to go through any time soon. I am only now finally getting over my cold.

But my cold didn’t stop me from enjoying the holidays and bringing in the new year.

Christmas was fun, but interestingly it was simple. I mean real simple. Nothing big or exciting. I have tons of pictures and videos to edit and upload. As soon as I unbury my computer that’s hidden under papers clothes and bags in my bed room. (Side Note: I’m using the Beau’s laptop for all internet uses.) My son pretty much got everything he wanted. I got a wonderful massage and facial treatment along with a 2 night stay in a hotel topped with 5 straight nights of wonderful dinner outings to some of my favorite restaurants. Sick or not I am not letting that ruin my great presents.

I felt bad that all I got Preston was some new clothes and Call of Duty 5. But he seem pretty content with it and didn’t get me any hassles because my present was kind of his present too.

New Year’s was pretty much celebrated the same way. We had Nyx so we didn’t go out partying anywhere. And even if we didn’t have him I don’t think we wanted to go anywhere. I feel that as I am getting older that whole bar/party scene doesn’t seem so exciting anymore. Don’t get me wrong I love going out still, but given a choice I’d much rather spend a relaxing time at home with my family, some alcohol and household full of laugther with the people that mean the most to me. We all have only one chance, better make the most of with people you care about than random strangers.

God I’m getting old.

So hopefully I’m off to a good start this year. I  still have to comprise my list or New Year’s resolution. There will be a couple cliches, but some new good ones too. Just gotta jot them down.





The best ending.

20 01 2008

To top off one of the most amazing and bliss full weeks I received one of my greatest surprises.

Friday was a going away night for my friend AK. He went back to school in Reno today. Plans were we were all going to meet at my house at 6pm, go out to dinner, then off to see Cloverfield. So MM showed up first at 5, he lives the farthest and we just cruised. So bright idea, hop on Sight Speed and chat it up with Devin and Naomi online web cam style.

Naomi texted me back to let me know she was driving and will see me soon, but Devin was home and wanted to talk with us. So we spent the whole time just talking and waiting. AK, Juci, and L were late. Finally I hear a knock at the door so I run to the door and unlocked it. I knew who it was so I just started walking back to my web cam because Devin was still talking.

Lo and behold I hear Naomi, “Honey! I’m home!” My first reaction was “yeah she’s online and RAN my ass to my laptop. I hear Naomi again, “Honey I’m home!” I turned around screamed my fat ass off, there she was standing in my living room.

Her company flew her down from New York to train their new hire. My heart literally stopped when I saw her. It was honestly the greatest surprise I had in a long time. But to top it off Preston came home from California a few hours before too.

I spent my weekend with awesome friends, my life partner Nai, and my boyfriend.  Ate all you can eat prime rib buffet, watched and puked to Cloverfield, had a great laugh and cry over high school, played some awesome Rock Band, and had a 3 day weekend.

This year is turning out to be pretty damn good.

1 year and 2 months till our next trip to New York. Oh how sweet it is.





Absolute Bliss

17 01 2008

I can’t even describe this last week. Nothing exciting really happened. Nothing new. I didn’t even buy any new toys for myself. This past week has just been nothing but awesomeness.

You want to know the sad thing about it? Preston has been gone all week. lol.

He has been in California for work since Saturday morning. I Saturday and a greater part of Sunday just to myself. Since Sunday evening till this afternoon it’s been Nyx and I. And now it’s just me again.

I’m happy because I feel like I actually did something this week.

*drum roll*

I cleaned my house! I can walk through my living room without stepping on any dvds, video games, controllers, our turtle, clothes, or any random toys. I can walk into my bedroom without tripping on any of our clean laundry. I go into my bathroom and it smells like lavenders. Literally. I can see my bathroom sink now. It’s actually white and beige! I walk into my kitchen without seen the piles of dishes or the 3 day old cooking on the stove.

I can live again!

Preston and I are always busy rushing around doing errands, working, and trying to maintain our relationship. We put chores off to spend time with Nyx because every week it feels like the hours in a day become less and less.

Tonight I’m finishing up our bedroom. I have not even gotten close to touching Nyx’s room. It’s almost impossible. I went in there only to have taken my first step and have the red power ranger stab me with his mystical wand, trip over Lightning McQueen’s town and land straight on top of a Nerf Gun.

On another note, noticed I’m using Nyx’s name now? Trying to be less paranoid.

But my laser death ray shield is still up.





An Ode to My Son

8 12 2007

While taking care of photo hunters at the same time. lol.

Disclaimer: There’s a LOT OF TMI! So read at your own caution.

Our Birth Story.

A long time ago, more like 4 years ago to this very moment I was studying for my finals the next day, I was going off on remember specific formulas, capacitive and inductive resistance, while writing my English paper. I was two days late and felt like I was pregnant for almost a decade. Okay maybe not a decade, but definitely a long long ass time.

On top of studying for finals my body felt different, it was weird. It was like my body was telling me “do not call it a night, you should stay up, and do not settle in.” Regardless, I ignored the signs my body was telling me and called it a night. The moment I laid down I ‘wet’ myself. Yes ladies and gentlemen my water broke at exactly midnight of Dec. 8th, 2003. I got up to a massive pile of water on my bed. I went to wake J (my son’s bio-dad) and he said I peed the bed. I then told his mom, she said I peed the bed. You would think a woman who was nurse for 20 years, 9 of which was labor and delivery, she would know the difference between my water breaking and accidentally peeing. Nonetheless, she cleared my bed and told me to go back to sleep. I was paranoid and pissed off. NO one wanted to drive me to the hospital. So to prove her wrong I laid down and I ‘wet’ the bed again. And that was the final draw, I was finally being put into the car. Of which J was so paranoid I would wet the seat he laid massive amount of towels everywhere.

When I got to the E.R. it was close to 1am and even the nurse there had to ask me if I was sure I didn’t pee myself. Come on people I think I would know the difference. Then here’s the kicker, the nurse asked me if I brought my underwear in which I ‘wet’ myself. MER? No I cleaned up and changed. By 2am I had my own room and lacked any contractions. They already notified my mid-wife and she wouldn’t see me until I started having contractions. I was anxious and excited I couldn’t sleep. Even though all the nurses said I had a long day ahead of me and I should sleep, I just couldn’t. Mind you at this point I haven’t slept in over 24 hours. But I had adrenaline rushing through me nothing could possibly knock me out right now.

I ended up watching Nick Jr., Cartoon Network and MTV most of the night. I finally called my stepmom when the sun was up and besides J she was the only person I wanted in there. No matter how much pain I was in I didn’t want any pain killers. No epidural! Nothing. All Natural. I am pretty good and being able to meditate and focus on outside things to move past the pain, but still my contractions weren’t much. A little after noon I felt like I had to take a massive poop, it hurt. A lot. lol.

That’s when the real labor began. I don’t remember much of it. Sadly. But what I do remember was crazy. I regret not making it to my Lamaze class because for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what muscle to push with. Then with the pain it made it harder to focus on that muscle. My stepmom was a great support person because J just wasn’t all there and it really fucking sucked. This nurse ended up tricking me when I was at the peak of my contraction and asked if I want the advil pain medicine of the pain killer line for labor. Which if I could remember what it was I would recommend you to NEVER take it. Because it did NOT take the edge off of the pain, instead I started hallucinating. Every moment I closed my eyes it felt like I went off into dream land where I argued with my classmate T. Every time I closed my eyes I felt like they were closed for an hour, when in actuality it was only 2 seconds.

This is where I don’t remember too much. I was delirious and having hard time focusing on outside things because of this stupid “advil”. I remember at one time I looked down and there were two wires that were tapped to my leg and went down my leg. Now I know that wasn’t there before. From the tidbits during my labor to what I learned after the nurses, my midwife, and my doctor kept losing my son’s heartbeat and when they found it his heart beat it was really low. They would lose his heartbeat during every contraction. What that was narrowed down to was that he was being crushed every contraction. So they had to put that screw into his head to monitor his heart. I understand now why they didn’t tell me too much because I probably would have had a heart attack.

When he started to crown it was like the world became clearer and the fog this stupid ‘pain killer’ created was clearing out. I was offered a mirror to see his head. It was the greatest incentive for me to work harder. I wanted to hold him so bad.

I may have only been in labor for 6.5 hours but it felt like the whole week. But at 6:28pm my son, my Short Stack, my life was born. his Agpar 9, respectively. Weighing in at 9 lbs. 3.3 ounces at 22 inches long. I heard him let out a healthy cry. I saw him being held by the nurse. And at 6:29 I held him for the first time. I saw his swollen eyes and ruby red lips. I felt his fingers wrap around my finger. It was at that very moment that my life finally started. I waited 19 long years to understand what love really is. 19 years to start my life. 19 years to find out I was not complete until I became a mother. 19 years is a long time, but I would wait another 19 if I had to for my son.

Today, it’s been 4 amazing years. Without you hunny I would never be where I am at. I would have never went to school. I would have never kicked the drugs and drinking. I would have never been happy. I would never be me.

For as long as I am walking, crawling, or wheeling around on this earth and there after I will be there creating a trillion memories with you, savoring every second of every day, sharing a million laughs every moment and never missing a single beat.

Thank you for choosing me. I love you baby. Happy 4th Birthday!

Short Stack