Home Bound, Finally.

14 06 2009

It’s great to escape every once and awhile. To completely take yourself out of your 24/7 routine and environment and throwing yourself somewhere new. Especially some where you don’t know where you are going, what you’ll be doing, and just taking it one moment at a time.

I’ve loved the last 6 days with Naomi and Devin. We did so much, in a sense it was almost a blur, a fun blur though. They moved away a few years ago to further their lives, better their careers, and to grow into even more amazing people. When I was sitting at the terminal I was missing them already, but I know I”ll see them soon enough. (I might be back to Buffalo in September.)

There was someone I missed even more, my son. I called him every chance I got. I damn near had a heart attack my first night away courtesy of my ex-husband. But when he was home safe with Preston my heart was at ease. Temporarily. I missed him. I cried like a big baby. Guilt fell on my heart.

I didn’t tell him I was going to New York when I left, simply told him I was going away for work, and I’ll be back before he knows it. He’s been wanting to go back to New York ever since we left in January 2008. But due to budget and time I couldn’t afford it, especially since The Company moved my flight up a whole week. Nonetheless I never told Nyx where I went. I was afraid he’d be really upset.

Eventually the smart boy he is found out where I was. It went exactly like this,

Nyx: Mom I know where you are…….

Me: Where am I honey?

Nyx: You’re in NEW YORK! That’s not fair, you went twice. I went only one time.

Me: I’m sorry, but maybe when I come out again you can come. There won’t be snow though.

Nyx: I want to go when there is snow. I’ll wait till there is snow.

I guess I shouldn’t have overreacted, I should have just told him. But he wasn’t too bothered. He knew, he accepted it, then he made sure I brought back lots of presents for him. More specifically he wanted his Naruto ninja outfit with shurikens and sais.

I have to say, which I am sure is common knowledge, it is so much easier to fly west than it is to fly east. The flights didn’t feel so long, the layovers were short, before I knew it I was hope again. Here’s the funny thing, I had to get back to work the very next day. No time to really recover from jet lag. I landed around 730pm, home around 830pm and was straight to bed. I seriously surprised myself when I woke up at 530am and was ready to get to work.

We NEVER wake up on time to get to work.

Saturday was the samething, I woke up at 630am ready to get the day started. I was a mad woman. Preston really just wanted to knock me out. Even though I love vacationing, I have to say with all the stress and headaches I really enjoy being home the most.

What is even better, my brother Dustin and his girlfriend Kayla flew down on the 8th to visit. So I have some plans to make with them, things to do with my boyfriend and I definitely need to make up for Preston and Roxanne’s birthdays.

Advertisements




It’s been a while.

23 03 2009

A long long while.

We are still alive, in fact we made a vlog. It took me longer to find a place to host the video than it did to make, download, throw on a ‘watermark’ and upload. I just don’t personally feel comfortable with youtube and LiveVideo. I don’t the whole universe looking at my videosif it wasn’t meant for the whole universe, just the select few that actually stop by and see if we are still breathing. So at long last I opted for Vimeo. Still public, but not widely popular. I did photobucket, it only allowed 5 minutes of my 9 minute video upload, so boo to them.

I don’t know, I guess I’m going to have to do some searching for video hosts.

But we are here. Just busy. I mean VERY busy. I hardly have anytime to cal Naomi anymore, yet alone find enough time to blog my thoughts. So since we ate out tonight it gave me an extra hour of free time. Yey!

Now the vlog isn’t great Nyx is very active and a total show off.  So hey we tried:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Long Overdue Update on Vimeo“, posted with vodpod

And in the process I found this long lost video too:

2 years ago, so Nyx was about 3 years old. How he stung his “penie”

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Untitled on Vimeo“, posted with vodpod





XOXO

14 01 2009

We were dropping Nyx off at school, doing our regular  routine.

Unbuckle, grab backpack, grasp the spam musubi, put backpack on, say our goodbyes, hugs and kisses.

Correction no kisses from Preston.

Preston: K man, have good day *hug*

Nyx: Wait! My kiss *looks up waiting for it*

Preston: Yea…..  no man. Here’s a hug.

Nyx: *bewildered* No I want a kiss.

Danni: Yea where is his kiss? Just give him a kiss. Geez.

Preston: Here have this *kisses his forehead*

In the car I had to ask what the big deal was.

Preston: He’s too old for a kiss.

WTF?!?! Didn’t know there was an age limit. I was then lead into this whole talk that it’s not masculine for two guys to kiss. It’s all about the hugs and hand shakes. The ‘manly’ gesture. Which lead me to ask, “You don’t kiss your dad?” Obviously not if he’s having this conversation with me.  So I spent the day asking guys I work with, do you kiss your dad? When’s the last time?

I lost.

Only one guy admitted to kissing his dad. Every 6 months. When he visits him in the mainland.

So am I just the weird one? It’s a small peck on the check. My son loves giving affection and receiving it too. It’s not like you are molesting him. I don’t get it, I must be weird.

Nope. I’m just the mom.

It’s a given that men will be men, even if they are dads. And moms? Well moms with forever try to sneak and steal every possible freaking kiss they can get.

After a day of thinking about it. I don’t kiss my dad. It’s been a while. It’s not like the opportunity presented itself, if it did I kiss my dad.

I don’t know. I figure as long as my son is cool with getting hugs and kisses from his parents in public I’m going to juice it for all it’s worth. Because I know when the day comes that he says no, I’m going to be pissed.





5 Years in the Making and Still Going

8 12 2008

To my kiddo on his 5th birthday:

It never gets old, but it really is amazing how fast time has flown with every year. How every year you never cease to amaze me. How every year you teach me hundreds of new things. How every year you show me something new about myself. How every year you’ve made me a better person, a better mother. How every year my heart grows exponentially for you.

As I look back on the past 12 months, you and I have overcome some amazing feats. Our biggest milestone together was starting kindergarten. It was scary at the beginning for the both of us. You being surrounded by hundreds of new kids and with me being so much farther away from you. I truly had to let go, I had to have faith in you. Sure my heart stopped for a good couple hours when I thought you got on the wrong school bus the first day. I felt queasy when I had to stop eating breakfast with you at school. How I had to hold back my tears when I hug and kiss you goodbye dropping you off in the morning.

No matter what, you always tried your best. You were being a “big boy.” Best of all you said, “I am being a brave boy for you mom.”

Those words would always put my mind and heart at ease. I knew I was doing something right because you took on the world with everything you had. I have to be brave for you too hun.

As we are celebrating your 5th birthday you are already looking forward to turning 6 and being a 1st grader. I’m just hoping that time slows down just a little more. Don’t grow up too fast you’ll give me a heart attack.

I always wonder if it’s I that am raising you or you that is raising me. Everyday is a new challenge, a new lesson, for me with you as my teacher. I’ve learned patience beyond my wildest imagination. I’ve learned that I had the worst trucker mouth and how to control it. I learned to expand my imagination even more because building a simple house out of Legos just isn’t going to cut it for you. You are raising me to be a better person. Not just a better mom.

So on your 5th birthday I wish you everything my heart, mind and this world can give you. We still have a whole lifetime ahead of us to create some beautiful memories. So what you want to do I leave it in your hands because you aren’t quite my baby any more. You’re my brave big boy.

I love you.
Mom





Let’s MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!

3 11 2008

As of late, tons of things are going on. Friends going back to where they came from, friends falling out – maybe she’ll stop being a douche – friends moving house to house, we are moving house to house, birthday party to plan, parties to go to, Thanksgiving, garage sales, and let’s not forget Christmas shopping.

 

I’m exhausted already. We started packing yesterday actually. Up until then we were just looking at our stuff and making mental notes as to what to pack, what not to pack, what to sell, and what to keep. But yesterday actually marked the start of it all, we packed up most of our unused linens, all of our DVDs and video games, and some of our vast library of books. This does not include the years of car, pc and video games magazines.

 

We are putting most of our stuff into storage because my dad’s house surely can’t handle the pack rat mentality of my grandmother AND me. So as time goes on I’ll slowly take things out of storage and sort though. Psft not that it’s actually going to happen, but I can still say and hope it right? LoL.

 

Oh I guess I never mentioned it before, but I’m moving to my dad’s house. It sounds pretty sad, 24 years old, a 5 year old boy and her boyfriend moving back to her grandparents/dad’s house. But really it isn’t. I’m secretly stoked I get to move back home because I really miss my family. And although they don’t show it I know my family is pretty happy too, although I do get harassment for it.

 

We are planning on getting rid of our debt and then start saving for my ‘secret wedding’ – it’s a secret because Preston doesn’t quite know about it :/ – and our dream house. Put it this way, living the way we were was insane. Our income was around $4600/month, but our out was around $3800-4200/month. How the hell are we supposed to save? So now we will be living with my dad and savings TONS. So instead of the average $4000 we take over the cable/internet bill around $150 and split the rest of the utilities. So that’s about………$400/month. Savings of $4200/month. Which works out in both of our favor, dad gets some relief with bills, we pay next to nothing, and we all end up happy.

 

I have a feeling Preston is just going to end up splurging. Which he admitted and felt he justified by saying, “Well we deserve to buy a few nice things since we’ve been struggling the last year.” Yea, ok, whatever hun.

 

But with everything going on I can’t wait till December. This month is jam packed with tons of things. To top it off I can’t really take off from work this whole month. Everyone put in their requests for leave back in March so when it came around July/August my boss said no additional requests for November. Which left only me, so I may get lucky on slow days – hopefully the 10th, 26th and 28th – to take off but I won’t know till the day before.

 

I just have to make do and hope for the best really. I really hope I don’t forget the most important thing yet. Nyx’s birthday, I haven’t started planning anything. It’s right around the corner and I’m still clueless as so what we should do.

Which reminded me about something, the other morning I woke up and Nyx was already wide eyed and playing in his room quietly. I wanted to spend some time with him before I left for work – it was a Saturday so I knew I wasn’t going to see him to till late afternoon – and we were talking about his birthday and Christmas where he then went into detail what he wanted. So I told him to write me a list, 2 actually one for me and one for Santa, as to what he wanted. But knowing my son he tends to forget these things just like his mom and dad and figured when I got home I would have to make the list with him. This is fine I always look forward to those things.

 

Well lo and behold I come home with this drawing and list on my desk. Preston and Nyx were both down for a nap when I got home from work so I had no one to jump with glee with. I wish I had taken a picture of it for right now. But on it Nyx wrote Hot Wheels, drew a picture of what he wanted, and his first and last name. I was in awe that he remembered and to be honest I thought the list was going to be longer.

 

When they both woke up I told Nyx thank you and that I wouldn’t forget. Then turned to Preston to tell him thank you for helping Nyx, in which he replied, “I didn’t help him. I thought he just drew you a random picture so I didn’t look at it and told him to put it on your desk.” I was just awestruck by that. My son did this by himself?!?! How does he know how to write Hot Wheels?!?! Either way I didn’t care, he’s growing up and he finds his own way to get things done.

 

In all we’ve been good. Things are changing at the work place, which means the old timers are scared because change isn’t good for them while we young guns know how to go with the flow and allow the change. It’s funny to watch though. But Preston and I are doing well, we hit a rough patch a little while ago but we are working through it and things seem real good. I’m sure it’s because of the stress of bills, moving, birthdays, and the holidays.

 

Nyx is excelling very well in school. He just had his first Halloween parade at school and was quite excited by all of it. We rarely have bad mornings now and his report card was awesomeness. Which matched his parent teacher conference.

 

To end it all, we hope November goes by real fast I can’t wait for that moment I can relax longer than a minute.





It’s official

22 10 2008

we are moving.

I don’t want to prematuraly say where yet. It’s not that if I do I might lose it, but ‘someone’ might try to cut me out. But we are going to be having a massive blowout sale.

Goodbye stove.

Goodbye sofas.

Goodbye washing machine I was all giddy to buy 4 months ago.

Goodbye Cal King mattress because you aren’t going to fit in the ‘new’ said place.

Goodbye having 3 bedrooms and massive hiding places.

Goodbye annoying mirrors all over my house I’m glad you’ll be gone because you scare the shit out of me.

Goodbye car #4 because you suck more gas than car #2. Let’s face it Car #3 is just better.

Goodbye personal space, because new place is going to be better.

Hello to ‘no’ rent, only utilities.

Hello to money saving.

Hello to my sanity from having ‘normal’ neighbors finally.

Hello to my ‘new’ roommates.

Hello 1 hour drives to work and school.

I’m anxious, but not at the same time.

I’m dreading the packing. I mean some INSANE packing. I thought it was bad when we lived in the apartment. This is FAR FAR FAR worse. More than half our stuff is going to be sitting in storage, another quarter will be sold in what I hope will be gone in just ONE HUGE garage sale, and the other quarter will have to find a place in the ‘new’ home.

Nyx is neutral on the situation. Though the ‘new’ home is out of his school district I will fix it so that he can still attend the same school. I’d really hate to transfer him out.

Preston is somewhat neutral on this whole move. He knows we will be saving TONS of money and it’ll work out for the better. He’s closer to his friends, which means more basketball and COD4 for him. We will never drive into town on the weekends, but it’s more the money thing for him right now.

Me? I guess I’m neutral too. I love this house, I really do. But we are just digging ourselves a bigger hole. It’s time we climbed out.

I swear the hole we dug, you could go spelunking in it.

Not kidding.

Downsides? It’s an hours drive from work now. WE all have to wake up at least 1.5 hours earlier. But really that’s just about it.

When the plans go into action and we start moving and selling our stuff. I’ll let you know end destination.

Till then, wait.

PS.

When is my wedding
Wedding Ticker from WhenIsMyWedding.com

PSS. Please someone remind Preston he is suppose to ask me soon. :X





Lo and Behold…

20 10 2008

We may have to move again.

That sucks.

A lot.

We thought we could handle this, but as the months are going by and with the “opihi’ neighbors/tenants we have to deal with and how they jack up our utilities it’s wearing us thin.

Both out temper and our wallets.

As stated when we first moved in we paid for all the water and the electricity also included the water heater that covered the WHOLE house. In turn we get a $100 discount on our rent of $1400. Really it didn’t seem so bad.

The first two months it was just the 3 of us. Electric was about $150, water was $60 and our cable/internet was $143. No prob.

Then ‘they’ moved in.

Our electric on average is about $300-400/month. Mind you they pay their own electric we just happened to get stuck with the water heater. Our water bill is creeping up every other month too. I just received our water bill for the last two months. Can we guess how much it is?

$393.

Yea…. $393!

On top of rising utility bills, their damn kids are annoying. Disrespectful. Incredibly dirty ALL the time. Loud. Cussing all the time. Walks into my house whenever they damn well please. Rip off the screens of my windows to yell for Nyx to come out and play. I swear I just want to …….. I won’t say it. But I want to believe me.

Then the parents. They are always fighting. Admitted meth dealers. Smokes pot outside my front window all times of the day. NEVER watches their kids. Cusses them out all the time. And does nothing when their kids, break and dismantle my house and my son’s toys. I swear I want to . . . . . also.

So we are looking. I love this house though. It’s huge! It’s not perfect, but I’ve grown quite attached in the last 5 months. I ABSOLUTELY love the neighborhood.

Besides, packing and unpacking REALLY SUCKS.

But we are struggling with all these high bills. I cannot deny this. We can’t work around it either.

I feel like I have failed myself, but mostly my son. He loves it here. His room is huge. He has a BIG yard. We may have to let go of Deuce if we can’t find a place that will let us have him. After this last move I promised him we wouldn’t move again for a LONG time. What a lie that is turning out to be.

We are looking.

This sucks.