I want my apartment back NOW!

13 10 2007

Yesterday morning I was literally booted from my apartment. Yes I did pay my rent and we are good tenants. Our building is being fumigated. I am glad to be rid of those stupid ants and the occassional spider or two. It’s just that it’s been a while since we HAD to leave our apartment. Hell this is the first time I unwilling had to sleep else where.

We ended up going to my Daddyhead’s house. I miss living there, no rent, no bills, no worries. *sigh* The easy times. But my sister was nice enough to let us crash in her bed for the night. I went there feeling relief. I get to be close to my Daddy again and sleep in the comforts of my own house. A house with tons of room, memories, and the comfort of my grandparents on the other side of the house.

Lo and behold I hated it. Not because of my dad harassing me. Not because of the worry that my grandparents might freak that my boyfriend is staying there too. Not because I knew my sister was going to annoy the shit out of me.

 It was because it’s not completely MY house. It’s not MY bed. It’s not MY room. Nothing there was technically mine. I couldn’t just sleep naked. I couldn’t walk around topless when I woke up this morning. I had annoying dogs barking, cats meowing, and that strong smell that my neighbors were cooking some strange filipino dish. (Side note: I love filipino food. I’m filipino. I just hate the smell.) I had the hardest time sleeping, even though my sisters bed feels a bit better than mine.

I missed my tiny apartment. I missed my space. At night I missed hearing the crashes of the waves outside the window. I missed the fresh ocean breeze when I woke up in the morning. Granted that I live on an island and the beach is less than a mile away no matter where you are. It just didn’t feel quite like home.

All this time I was miserable in my tiny apartment, though I know I still will be upset and wanting a bigger place, I was happy because it was mine. I pay for that space with my own money. I earned MY place. Most of all I thought I hated living there because I missed home. No I just hate it because it’s not a house with a yard.

Having the fumigators come helped me realize this today. It’s a little bit of a relief. Now I can go back to my tiny apartment feeling happy that it’s my place. Plus another great thing about my place is it’s 15 mins from work, where my dad’s house is an hour away.

 But if I got the chance to go live with my Daddy again, under the condition I get to stay on my grandparents side of the house (they have more bedrooms) I would most definitely go! lol. Hey no rent!

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