5 Years in the Making and Still Going

8 12 2008

To my kiddo on his 5th birthday:

It never gets old, but it really is amazing how fast time has flown with every year. How every year you never cease to amaze me. How every year you teach me hundreds of new things. How every year you show me something new about myself. How every year you’ve made me a better person, a better mother. How every year my heart grows exponentially for you.

As I look back on the past 12 months, you and I have overcome some amazing feats. Our biggest milestone together was starting kindergarten. It was scary at the beginning for the both of us. You being surrounded by hundreds of new kids and with me being so much farther away from you. I truly had to let go, I had to have faith in you. Sure my heart stopped for a good couple hours when I thought you got on the wrong school bus the first day. I felt queasy when I had to stop eating breakfast with you at school. How I had to hold back my tears when I hug and kiss you goodbye dropping you off in the morning.

No matter what, you always tried your best. You were being a “big boy.” Best of all you said, “I am being a brave boy for you mom.”

Those words would always put my mind and heart at ease. I knew I was doing something right because you took on the world with everything you had. I have to be brave for you too hun.

As we are celebrating your 5th birthday you are already looking forward to turning 6 and being a 1st grader. I’m just hoping that time slows down just a little more. Don’t grow up too fast you’ll give me a heart attack.

I always wonder if it’s I that am raising you or you that is raising me. Everyday is a new challenge, a new lesson, for me with you as my teacher. I’ve learned patience beyond my wildest imagination. I’ve learned that I had the worst trucker mouth and how to control it. I learned to expand my imagination even more because building a simple house out of Legos just isn’t going to cut it for you. You are raising me to be a better person. Not just a better mom.

So on your 5th birthday I wish you everything my heart, mind and this world can give you. We still have a whole lifetime ahead of us to create some beautiful memories. So what you want to do I leave it in your hands because you aren’t quite my baby any more. You’re my brave big boy.

I love you.
Mom





I’m back on my saddle

5 10 2008

A little side ways, not exactly ready to ride again. But I’m up there nonetheless.

I’m back to taking things in strides again. Which there is nothing wrong with that, but I feel that I am always taking things in strides. When will I be back to taking huge steps again?

October is one of my more favorite months, along with August and December 8th. This month tends to go by too fast for me, but while it whizzing past I enjoy watching all the Halloween decorations come out. I love picking new outfits. I love dressing up. I love all the oldie horror movies that are constantly playing on TV.  Above all I love the candy. It’s such a great interactive holiday.

So I am trying my best to not let crappy September carry on into October.

Actually the 1st started off a great month, we got a raise. Which equated to about $1.11 more an hour. Then it started off with my ankle being pretty healed up. It’s a little weak, but I can walk on it. I’m not being held down by those wretched crutches anymore. We get paid 3 times this month. My friend Levi came home for a month. We held a massive Oovoo night with Naomi and Devin, hopefully another one to come soon. Then there’s Halloween to end the month.

Not to say that it’s only the 5th so there are tons of great things that can happen from now till the 31st. So I’m pretty excited.

The only thing that bums me out just a little is that I may be, probably, late to order my costume from Trashy.com. I’ve ordered my last 3 costumes from them and love them all. Last year I was a sexy geisha/samurai, then there was the deviant nun, and before that was a naughty pirate.

I don’t know what I want be yet, but Batgirl is sparking my interests.

Preston has been doing good. We had a ‘syndrome’ scare last month. Which is still a syndrome, but not as deadly as the doctor’s worried it might be. He’s still recovering, but doing great. And with that scare his health has been the epitome of a huge change for him. He’s been attending church regularly, I have been a little reluctant. Church hasn’t really been my thing. He’s started working out more often too. He bought a weight bench set, running more often, and trying to be conscious about what he eats.

Nyx is really starting to enjoy school. Although it’s still a hassle to get him up and going for school in the morning, he isn’t so much a hassle dropping off. He gets out gives a big hug and kiss, then off he goes. He writes me cute notes at the end of the week. It’s usually goes along the lines of “Dear Family, I learned (insert letter) and (insert number). Love Nyx.” Drawn with whatever he learned the past week.

This is his first school break. Fall break, grr, he has tons of breaks this month. He had last friday off, this whole week, the following Monday (its Columbus day), the 17th and all half days from the 20th-24th. WTH?!?!

On a good side, he gets his first report card this money and parent teacher conferece. I’m excited. I don’t think he understands the meaning of all that yet. But he will the day he brings home a bad report card. lol.





The first days

7 08 2008

So we are on day 3.

 

Day 1

 

Actually went really well. I stayed with him the whole morning. We got there bright and early around 7am. We talked to the cafeteria and he got his first public school breakfast. Which we public school kids know isn’t all that great.

 

He truly is a spoiled private school kid. He was in a private day care for a year and in a private Pre-k school for another 2. His meals are all freshly made. Juice 100% freshly squeezed or ice cold milk. Meals are served in big serving dishes where he can serve himself. His dishes are real and just his. He has his own personal seat and sits at a ‘real’ table. I loved eating lunch with him. Sometimes the food was better than what I could cook. And I can really cook.

 

So when it came to breakfast he had the look of “You got to be kidding me. This isn’t real food.” He was irritated that none of the kids were sitting down nicely, quietly, and eating. The food of course looked micro waved, even the rice. The fruits, well of course there canned, so Nyx didn’t think they were real. So to say the least he hated breakfast. Even the carton milk, although it was chocolate, lacked any luster for him. He didn’t know how to open it, irritated he didn’t have a cup, and even saddened that he couldn’t get a straw. It got to the point where he looked at me with his beautiful brown eyes and said, “Mommy can we just go home.” No matter how much I wanted to say yes and flee faster any person before me, I held back and said no. I felt bad. As far as the food, I understood the feeling. I hated cafeteria food anyways. So I’m deciding home lunches might be the way to go for him. We are still undecided. But at this rate breakfast at home might be opening up. Now if I could only get him to wake up early enough.

 

After breakfast we made our way to his classroom. His teacher wasn’t there yet, so we waited. Next door he saw his Pre-k classmate Abby, which was a relief for him because he was becoming worried that he wouldn’t know anyone. Shortly after his friend David – who is in the same class with him – came waltzing in too. Mrs. T. finally opened the door and all the kids rushed in. Nyx was excited. Signed his name in, got his name tag and hurried to find his desk. It was almost as if the whole breakfast fiasco didn’t happen. Lucky for me, I was worried he was going to start crying. I took a few pictures, Not really much, I was more focused on make sure he was comfortable than taking much pictures.

 

In the end, we were both ok. I didn’t cry. I didn’t freak out. I didn’t even have a mild panic attack. I was ok. I was a big girl.

 

I walked away with a smile on my face, excitement in my heart, and knowing this is going to be a good thing.

 

Since it was a half day the bus wasn’t going to bring him to the youth center after school. I had to pick him up at noon and bring him there myself. I questioned him about everything. Maybe a little too fast because he wasn’t able to respond fast enough, but when I slowed down Nyx had only one thing to say,

 

“Mom, I’m so happy I went to Kindergarten. I want to say there forver.”

 

That’s all I needed to hear.

 

Day 2

 

Same spiel, difference? He gets to ride the school bus. My number one worry.

 

I took off from work early to go see a doctor and get some antibiotics and run everywhere to change my name.

 

While at my main bank I realized I got a miss call from the school at 1:15pm. I only noticed at 1:38pm. Weird, school finishes at 12:35 on Wednesdays. I have a voicemail.

 

Correction I have 3 voicemails! 2 from the school and 1 from the bus driver. My heart stopped.

 

Message 1.

“Hi Daniella, the bus driver called and doesn’t know where you son goes. Nyx said he doesn’t know where he lives.”

 

Message 2

“Hi this Irma, the bus driver, I have your son here. If you could let me know where he lives and I’ll happy to drop him off.

 

Message 3

“Hi Daniella, the bus driver still doesn’t know where your son goes. Your son has gotten on the wrong bus. Please call back.”

 

ZOMFG!!!

I’m in town a good 45 minutes away. I hurry the teller along and urgently call Preston. No answer. I call his coworker Ken to hurry and get Preston. I run out to my car and Preston calls me back and lets me know that he will rush over to the school.

 

Now my son has a great imagination so when asked where I lives, I wouldn’t be surprised that he would make up a place and that’s where he will go. I would hope the bus driver has better sense than that.

 

I called the bus driver, no answer. I called the school, they said he isn’t at the school. WTF!?!

 

I call Preston and he tells me, well the school said Nyx was brought back and sitting in the office. Why couldn’t they have told me that? I start to cry frantically.

 

Preston tells me not to worry. I should just finish my errands in town and he’ll pick up Nyx and figure out what happened.

 

Pssffttt. Like I’m going to do that, I rushed back. I wish people knew when things were urgent and just moved. Lol.

 

On my drive back I learned that Nyx did get on the right bus, but since he looked so confused the bus driver figured he was on the wrong bus.

 

You see he doesn’t take the bus to our house; he takes the bus to the youth center for The Company. So he had to get special permission for that. I guess we didn’t drill teach or explain to him enough as to what he should do when the bus stops. So when Preston picked him up he drove back to the youth center bus stop and walked him through step by step what he should do and where he should go.

 

It’s weird his other friend’s that go to the youth center got on the bus with him, but he never got off with them. I don’t know. It must be my fault and my horrible directions. Either way I FREAKED out.

 

Nyx wasn’t scared, he wasn’t mad, he was just confused. A teacher told us about another student, an older girl that goes to the youth center also, she will help Nyx get the hang of riding the bus and help him get off and walk to the youth center with him.

 

Day 3

 

So the first thing we did was find the teacher that will point out a new friend for Nyx. The girl that will help him get on and off the bus. Although she wasn’t there yet, Nyx stayed with the teacher until she introduced Nyx to his new friend.

 

What really sucked was that Preston made me leave early.

 

I didn’t get to eat breakfast with Nyx.

 

I didn’t get to walk Nyx to class.

 

Preston made me leave early. I was sour about that. But he is right. I need to start leaving Nyx at some point. I can’t walk him through everything. No matter how much I want to.

 

So today Nyx truly was on his own.

 

I’m not even sure he even bothered to eat breakfast. He still looked confused, but he was offered to sign in for the “Breakfast Club”, where they could just play games until school started. Which probably prevented him from eating because he heard the words “play games.”

 

So I hope it went well. I hope he walked to his class. I hope he ate something. I definitely hope he gets off the bus this time.

 

In all, the first week of school is almost over. I still want to hold his hands. I still hate dropping him off. And I’m fearful to get to the point where I can pull up to the school, he gets out on his own and walks off.

 

I’m still holding on to whatever small threads I have to be the overbearing/protective/crazy mom I’m allowed to be.

 

Tomorrow is another day, maybe I’ll grow up a little more then. Lol.