Made good on my promise and some other stuffs

22 06 2009

Now when I say I’m going to do something to make it up to them, I always keep my word. Which says a lot because my intentions are always good, but sometimes I can’t always keep every promise. Though I try my absolute best to all the time.

Getting back into the flow of work wasn’t so bad. When I came back my coworker Wanksta also came back from Okinawa, he was also on a trip for The Company, he brought back some cool JDM gifts for me. Even what we like to call the Rice Patty hat, which was the coolest gift ever.

But this weekend to make up for my absence and so Dustin and Kayla can return home saying they did something weird, I made plans to go tubing down the old cane road irrigation ditches. Now that does sound dirty, but it really isn’t. It was actually pretty laid back, fun, a great history lesson, and some great scenery.

The crappiest part of it all?

Waking up at 6am when we all went to bed around 1am or so. I was surprised my fat ass actually got up. Needless to say no one else was very happy. It’s a good thing it’s only up the road from our house.

I saw parts of our paradise “back yard” I never knew existed. The tour was awesome. The ride was pretty cool. Water wasn’t nearly as cold as I thought and hoped it would be. The only down side, was the damn disrespectful tourists that were on the tour with us. In end everyone had fun and we had yet another great memory together.

Sadly, my brother leaves tomorrow. 😦 So tonight we went out to dinner to stuff our faces full of sushi.

I remember when my brother first moved to the island. It was about 3 years ago, the siblings and I went to go eat Genki Sushi one afternoon and I picked up an ahi nigiri plate. Of course I asked my brother if he wanted some. His reply?

“Oh no I only eat tuna.”

Yea………. Ahi = Tuna. DER!

He did try and he loved it. Since then he’s opened up to a lot of sushi stuffs. My sister too.

Now Preston on the other hand…… I have to force it down his throat.

When I first met him I knew he was a mama’s boy. He NEVER ate what he should, aka veggies, he picked apart everything so he only ate the meat, aka chicken ceasar salads, and heaven forbids he eats a damn raw tomato.

I’ve gotten him out of his shell to atleast try everything once. So sushi, it’s slowly growing on him.

It grew enough on him to try Uzura – quail egg – sushi. Now I will admit quail egg somewhat made me shiver and I gagged, but if it’s on the menu someone must have thought it was tasty and I should give it a try. But why not make Preston try with me too?!?! I love torturing him, birthday or not. 🙂

Anyways, dinner was fun. It was long and service took ages, but we had fun. So much to talk about and literally very little time to do it in.

After dinner we came back home where 3 days prior I stole Naomi’s recipe for fried ice cream and made us some gourmet desserts. Which Nai everyone loved thank you for the recipe. I tried to soak up as much of my brother and his girlfriend as I could.

If I’m lucky I get to see them once a year, I should get our asses up there to see them some time.

I have to say though, some way and some how I always find a way to not really say goodbye. When I figure it out I’ll let you know. But some how I get away without the teary eyed farewells. Simply because I am a very attached person, I hate goodbyes, I hate seeing my loved ways leave to somewhere so damn far away.

I think I must end this entry, I have to say it has to be one of my long overdue scattered brained entries. I was wondering when it was going to show up.

So I leave with more pictures!!!!

Read the rest of this entry »


3 11 2008

As of late, tons of things are going on. Friends going back to where they came from, friends falling out – maybe she’ll stop being a douche – friends moving house to house, we are moving house to house, birthday party to plan, parties to go to, Thanksgiving, garage sales, and let’s not forget Christmas shopping.


I’m exhausted already. We started packing yesterday actually. Up until then we were just looking at our stuff and making mental notes as to what to pack, what not to pack, what to sell, and what to keep. But yesterday actually marked the start of it all, we packed up most of our unused linens, all of our DVDs and video games, and some of our vast library of books. This does not include the years of car, pc and video games magazines.


We are putting most of our stuff into storage because my dad’s house surely can’t handle the pack rat mentality of my grandmother AND me. So as time goes on I’ll slowly take things out of storage and sort though. Psft not that it’s actually going to happen, but I can still say and hope it right? LoL.


Oh I guess I never mentioned it before, but I’m moving to my dad’s house. It sounds pretty sad, 24 years old, a 5 year old boy and her boyfriend moving back to her grandparents/dad’s house. But really it isn’t. I’m secretly stoked I get to move back home because I really miss my family. And although they don’t show it I know my family is pretty happy too, although I do get harassment for it.


We are planning on getting rid of our debt and then start saving for my ‘secret wedding’ – it’s a secret because Preston doesn’t quite know about it :/ – and our dream house. Put it this way, living the way we were was insane. Our income was around $4600/month, but our out was around $3800-4200/month. How the hell are we supposed to save? So now we will be living with my dad and savings TONS. So instead of the average $4000 we take over the cable/internet bill around $150 and split the rest of the utilities. So that’s about………$400/month. Savings of $4200/month. Which works out in both of our favor, dad gets some relief with bills, we pay next to nothing, and we all end up happy.


I have a feeling Preston is just going to end up splurging. Which he admitted and felt he justified by saying, “Well we deserve to buy a few nice things since we’ve been struggling the last year.” Yea, ok, whatever hun.


But with everything going on I can’t wait till December. This month is jam packed with tons of things. To top it off I can’t really take off from work this whole month. Everyone put in their requests for leave back in March so when it came around July/August my boss said no additional requests for November. Which left only me, so I may get lucky on slow days – hopefully the 10th, 26th and 28th – to take off but I won’t know till the day before.


I just have to make do and hope for the best really. I really hope I don’t forget the most important thing yet. Nyx’s birthday, I haven’t started planning anything. It’s right around the corner and I’m still clueless as so what we should do.

Which reminded me about something, the other morning I woke up and Nyx was already wide eyed and playing in his room quietly. I wanted to spend some time with him before I left for work – it was a Saturday so I knew I wasn’t going to see him to till late afternoon – and we were talking about his birthday and Christmas where he then went into detail what he wanted. So I told him to write me a list, 2 actually one for me and one for Santa, as to what he wanted. But knowing my son he tends to forget these things just like his mom and dad and figured when I got home I would have to make the list with him. This is fine I always look forward to those things.


Well lo and behold I come home with this drawing and list on my desk. Preston and Nyx were both down for a nap when I got home from work so I had no one to jump with glee with. I wish I had taken a picture of it for right now. But on it Nyx wrote Hot Wheels, drew a picture of what he wanted, and his first and last name. I was in awe that he remembered and to be honest I thought the list was going to be longer.


When they both woke up I told Nyx thank you and that I wouldn’t forget. Then turned to Preston to tell him thank you for helping Nyx, in which he replied, “I didn’t help him. I thought he just drew you a random picture so I didn’t look at it and told him to put it on your desk.” I was just awestruck by that. My son did this by himself?!?! How does he know how to write Hot Wheels?!?! Either way I didn’t care, he’s growing up and he finds his own way to get things done.


In all we’ve been good. Things are changing at the work place, which means the old timers are scared because change isn’t good for them while we young guns know how to go with the flow and allow the change. It’s funny to watch though. But Preston and I are doing well, we hit a rough patch a little while ago but we are working through it and things seem real good. I’m sure it’s because of the stress of bills, moving, birthdays, and the holidays.


Nyx is excelling very well in school. He just had his first Halloween parade at school and was quite excited by all of it. We rarely have bad mornings now and his report card was awesomeness. Which matched his parent teacher conference.


To end it all, we hope November goes by real fast I can’t wait for that moment I can relax longer than a minute.

Finally coming to terms

31 07 2008

Today we had our final meeting with Nyx’s teacher, Mrs. T., we brought in his huge list of school supples. Practically all labeled. Minus labeling all 104 crayons. I was totally over that!

Doesn’t mean I didn’t having anything to label. I had 4 bottles of glue, 4 bottles of hand soap, 4 boxes of 10 markers, 2 glue sticks, 2 sets of paints, 24 sharpened pencils, 3 shirts, and a load of other things. We got to let out all the final questions. Questions that have been driving me up the wall crazy. I’m extremely paranoid so I asked ALL the “what if” questions. And amazingly she answered them all. Even Preston’s interrogation questions too.

She really put my mind at ease. She’s incredibly nice to. Better yet she has a daughter going to the same school. Though from the looks of it she’s a couple years older. Nyx also has 2 other, possibly 3, friends from Pre-k in the same class and that’s even better for him. And me.

I got the whole bus thing situated, so he gets to start riding the bus from the first day. Another great fear of mine, but his other Pre-k friends will be riding the bus to the same place as him, so once again he won’t be alone.

I signed him up for the after school youth center, which is free by the way. Had our tour of the place yesterday and Nyx is looking forward to it. Actually he’s been looking forward to going to the youth center for the last year. So yey all around!

And the last thing on my list was the school lunch thing. I thought it was going to be expensive, so I was going to apply for reduced/free lunch, looked at the chart and realized I don’t make the cut. Apparently for a family of 2 I make too much. (Note I’m not rubbing it in your face just stating a fact). So I went on ahead and just put $100 on his lunch card for now. The lunch is $1.25. Pretty cheap I think. So I don’t think Preston and I will bother applying for the reduced/free lunch. I’m sure there is another family that would like our place anyways. Even if we did try with our combined income they’d probably laugh at us for trying to apply anyways. Not a big deal.

During our interview with Mrs. T Nyx got to tour his new classroom. The nice MAC computers, the pretend center, the desks, practically everything. So the greatest ease on my mind is seeing the excitement in Nyx’s eyes. Everything out of his mouth has to deal with Kindergarten. So if he is excited, then I should be too. I don’t want by paranoid/negative vibes to affect him. I want to keep him on this path of wanting to learn.

After the interview I decided to take the rest of the day off. Relax and get things organized. My great-grandmother passed away a week ago and her funeral is this coming Saturday. I have lots of family flying in and they all want to spend some time together. I hardly see them and I think half of them hardly know Nyx exists. Not that they exclude me from their lives, simply that I don’t communicate with them. Nothing is wrong with my aunt, just never had a strong bond with them.

Anyways, there are 4 Great Great Grandchildren and the family want them to play a role in the ceremony. So I’ve been preparing Nyx for that. He’s never attended a funeral before. So I hope he’ll be respectful and follow directions.

In the end, I wish I could have known my Great Grandmother better. I’ve met her a couple times, but I don’t really have a bond with her. It got me thinking, thinking things I should have done a long time ago, I should rebuild my relationship with my grandmother. She is an amazing person. Very funny and I want my son to have a good relationship with her. She’s great and healthy so I know she’ll be around for a long time more. My grandfather is still here too, but has been in and out of the hospital the last year or so. And I know my grandma will make sure he stays as long as she does.

So tonight my WHOLE family is having dinner at my Aunt’s house, N. I never met N. in fact I didn’t know she existed till an hour ago when we were told ordered to go from grandma through dad.

Nyx is taking a nap and this is my opportunity to play with my Wii Fit, DDR, or maybe even *gasp* clean.

I do know something about my Great-Grandmother though, she’s 4 years older than my grandma. 😐

Tangled Web

3 02 2008

I live a tangled web of a life. Not lies, life. Nothing in my life is just plain and simple. It’s complicated and intricate. When it comes to signing up at any random social site and filling out the “About Me:” sections I never know what to say. I can’t sum me up in a paragraph or less. I try, but it feels to generic and fake. It doesn’t feel like I’m really telling the world who I really am.

I look at people and I know who they are. Definitely not in depth, but I can say, “hey this is so-so, he/she is the daughter of Jane and John Doe, he/she has 2 siblings, bob and janet. He/She lives in the Boondocks and works a nice Monday through Friday job.”

What can I say about myself, family or job? I don’t know what or who I want to be yet. I know I want it to encapsulate who I really am and love. I can’t tell anyone what my job is. It’s literally secret. So I tell them something generic and work for ABC XYZ company.

And family?

Well it’s huge. It’s complicated. But it’s truly the one thing I finally understand how I can count on them no matter the stupid shit I’ve done to hurt any of them, accidental or purposefully.

Both my biological parents are alive and well. I’ve had 1 step dad (8yrs old – 20 years old), of which is now divorced from my mother. I have 1 step mom (15 yrs old – now), though my dad and her are now divorced. I have 1 sister and 1 brother of pure blood. 2 half brothers from my step dad. Finally, 1 step sister and 2 step brothers from my step mom’s previous marriage. To top it off I have 8 grandparents, only 1 that passed away. Oh did I mention my Great-grandmother is only 3 years older than my grandma? My dad now has a new girlfriend. She’s 28, don’t know how to feel about that yet.

My son has it all. On top of Preston’s family. So it becomes even more complicated.

Don’t even get me started outside of the immediate family. I don’t even know how I’m related to any one. lol.

Am I complaining? No.

I know who I am because of my family. Blood or not. I love them. I love the fact that the love in my family grows exponentially. I love not having a “simple” family. It’s because of my family that I know now that I have always knew what true love really is. Above all how strong love is, outside of my son.

I love that my step sister still considers my dad her step dad even though our parents are together. I love that my step mom loves me as her own even though I was absolutely rotten and horrible to her for a few years. I love that my family is MINE. That they are a part of me.

What fun would life be if everything was so simple to explain? If everything was so normal? If I didn’t have them?

To top it off my son gets to be a part of this tangled web of insanity, our clan.

So who am I?

I am a complicated person. I love people as my family even with no blood. I am a person that appreciates love, life and relationships because of my family. I am me and I’m fine with that.

PS. Screw the everyday pictures. It scares me to always have to look at me.

The best ending.

20 01 2008

To top off one of the most amazing and bliss full weeks I received one of my greatest surprises.

Friday was a going away night for my friend AK. He went back to school in Reno today. Plans were we were all going to meet at my house at 6pm, go out to dinner, then off to see Cloverfield. So MM showed up first at 5, he lives the farthest and we just cruised. So bright idea, hop on Sight Speed and chat it up with Devin and Naomi online web cam style.

Naomi texted me back to let me know she was driving and will see me soon, but Devin was home and wanted to talk with us. So we spent the whole time just talking and waiting. AK, Juci, and L were late. Finally I hear a knock at the door so I run to the door and unlocked it. I knew who it was so I just started walking back to my web cam because Devin was still talking.

Lo and behold I hear Naomi, “Honey! I’m home!” My first reaction was “yeah she’s online and RAN my ass to my laptop. I hear Naomi again, “Honey I’m home!” I turned around screamed my fat ass off, there she was standing in my living room.

Her company flew her down from New York to train their new hire. My heart literally stopped when I saw her. It was honestly the greatest surprise I had in a long time. But to top it off Preston came home from California a few hours before too.

I spent my weekend with awesome friends, my life partner Nai, and my boyfriend.  Ate all you can eat prime rib buffet, watched and puked to Cloverfield, had a great laugh and cry over high school, played some awesome Rock Band, and had a 3 day weekend.

This year is turning out to be pretty damn good.

1 year and 2 months till our next trip to New York. Oh how sweet it is.

Photo Hunt #2 “I love . . . . “

16 11 2007


This is a good topic. I was hunting, diving and desperately searching for a photo that represents something I love. I came to one conclusion I love everything. With that comes the impossible task of just picking one photo. So for your enjoyment, my satisfaction, and just the beauty of sharing the people I love I created this.


I love. . . . my life right now.

Where I am at. Where I live. I love where my life is at this moment. I live in a place where I am constantly surrounded by beauty and awe inspiring views are simply moments away. And when you want to feel alone it’s only a few steps away and it’s just you and endless skies.

I love. . . . my friends.

Over the last 4 years I have found out who my true and real friends are. Never swaying, never judging, never faltering, and above all ALWAYS loving friends. Each of these people have taught me so much. They showed me how to be confident again. How to open up. How to trust. I don’t know how I could ever repay them for all that they have done, but I love them as my own family.

Above ALL. . . .

I love. . . . my family.

I would be nothing without them. I need them to add the sanity to my insane life. They are a constant reminder why love and family are NEVER over rated in this selfish cruel world. They pick me up before I even feel down. Why am I writing this? For anyone that has a family they know and understand what I feel. I can’t explain it, but I really don’t know who or what I would be without them.

So in the end it comes down to two pictures. Pictures of the most important influences in my life.

I love. . . . my saviors.

The first picture is my dad with my son. One of the greatest things my dad has said to me is, “From the first love in my life you have now given me my second.” My dad took me in when I was at my lowest and he did it with open arms and endless love. Something I thought I lost.

The second picture are my classmates, my professors and I at our college graduation. They showed me what real friends are, what trust and faith in people can really bring you, and they pushed me to do better everyday. Without their encouragement and help I would have never finished or continued going to school.


I know this should have only been one picture, but giving such an open ended topic – especially love – it’s impossible. Especially when you have a life blessed with tons of love.


Finally the Weekend!

9 11 2007

The last two weeks I’ve been just racking my brain over so many things.

The Holidays!

The hundreds of family gatherings we are going to be invited to from now till January. The presents to get family, friends, and co-workers. The birthday parties to attend and the one to plan. The decorations and festivities to plan, organize and do.


The projects I still haven’t finished, yet started. The “big wigs” I still have to impress and make happy. And the many days we back to back with non stop support till Christmas week.

My son’s 4th Birthday!

The plans that I start putting forth getting shot down the next day. I’m so close to just booking the first flight out and taking him to the car show after all. But I’m so eager to have an actual kids party for him.

No time to even just breath. Except for now. Tonight I’m relaxing. Short Stack and I prepped dinner and then Beau taught Short Stack how to cook on the grill. mmmm BBQ cow. So it’s steak, sauteed mushrooms, corn and green beans. mmmmm. So good.

Then I will slowly getting to writing up my projects for work and planning my son’s birthday. It’s still up in the air. Well I have 3 weeks to decide. I haven’t been able to do my Thursday Thirteen’s for two weeks now. I had some good lists too. Hopefully, tonight I can get to my Photo Hunters. I’ve missed the last 3 weeks. grr.

I’m off to eat some dinner with my family now. They are done and I’m already missing them.