Have I hit rock bottom yet?

19 09 2008

So yesterday I was suffering from a cold, horrible sinus headaches, and above all I HAD to go to work. Which is fine I wasn’t completley out of it and it’s not like I had tons of vacation or sick leave anyways. I go to work on a mission to accomplish as much as I possibly can because I knew I was going to be really lame today and not want to do anything.

I push everyone to work hard, get a lot done, and overall just make the boss happy. Things were going smooth. I mean really smooth. Smooth enough for Bryson to say “Things are going too smooth something’s going to happen to fuck it all up.” I swear he jinxed it all.

Only had a couple hours till quiting time. Things were going great. I can’t tell you exactly what happened, but hopefully enough I can give you a good enough idea.

On of the my systems needed to be reworked, meaning it needed corrosion control and new paint job. So were taking it down and prepping it for some good maintenance loving. Bryson and I were sitting up top, about a good 20 feet or so above ground. Richard, Quincy, Stanley down below – still 4 feet above the ground – manning things from below. Now mind you I am the leading person for this system so I was watching out for everyone’s safety. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt under my watch – see where I am going with this yet?

Got all the bolts out, secured to the cables and ready to be lowered. Except one problem it wasn’t budging. I stood up a little to look over all the bolt sections to make sure we didn’t leave one in. The moment I did that – BOOM !!!!!! – it falls. At that moment I jumped back, but my right foot was still hanging over and the nice 600-700 lbs ‘object’ fell on my foot that was laying side ways. And continued it’s way down till the cables tightened. But sadly, in that process my coworker Stanley got hurt too. He was standing right below me. He tried to hold it up, but that was a fruitless endeavor, the moment he could jump off he did.

I cried. I hate crying at work.

I work with a bunch of guys….. I was honestly waiting for one of them to jokingly say “Suck it up Danni.” Graciously they didn’t. They made sure I was ok. Well in some sense. They made sure no bleeding. Continued to lower the ‘object’ because I wanted them too. If it stayed int he position it was bound to injure someone else. I couldn’t have that on my conscious.

I attempted to calm myself down, and reassess my situation. !. My foot may be broken. 2. How the hell am I supposed to climb down 20 some odd feet? 3. Damn Bryson jinxed this. 4. How am I supposed to pick up my son? 5. Thank god tomorrow is Friday.

Priorities aren’t always there. lol.

Nonetheless, a scissors lift was called to my rescue. I was carried down and the ambulance was called for me.

Now the EMTs. I have a bone to pick with them. Now thankfully I wasn’t dying, but if I was I’d be dead by the time they figured out how to work the stupid fucking gurney. It took them what felt like forever to figure how to get it into the back of the ambulance. They took forever figuring how to place my splint. The whole ride about 10 mins to figure how to take my blood pressure with an eletronic one and then manually the guy was hopeless. Thank god it was only my leg.

When I finally got to the emergency room I was a little more calm. I was doing my best to keep myself in a good safe area of my mind. I mean come on I was cracking jokes so no one feels depressed about the situation. I had white paint on my face because I was crying face down. When I sat up Quincy thought I got wake by said ‘object’ in the face, I wasn’t, but I said it was camoflauge. While on the gurney I told bryson, “Fail.”

If others are stressed and worried, it really heightens my anxiety and worries too.

I sat in the ER, trying to laugh, trying to be calm, just ….. trying. The nurse was kind of helful she was funny-ish. She stabbed me in the butt with a pain killer so that she can take my shoe off without me screaming bloody murder. The butt stab I have to say hurt more than my foot. It burned more like it. I got some x-rays and my first cat scan ever. Then given another stab in the arm, tetanus shot. I couldn’t remember the last time I got one. Damn nurse I swear she just wanted to keep stabbing me.

The pain killer, which I think she said was depheral(?) – was really strong and apparently I am really really REALLY sensitive to it. I was out of it and completely loopy. Minus 2 coworkers they call came down to see Stanley and I, Stanley was in the room across from me.

So anyways going off topic, sort of, the out come. I should count my blessings because I am damn lucky I didn’t break anything. Better yet didn’t fracture anything. As it stands I have some internal swelling that is keeping me from feelings my toes. It still hurts like a mofo, but I still have my foot and when things are all healed up it’ll still work. 🙂

Stanley is well took, he has some back and shoulders pains and will be followed up with a doctor appointment sooner or later. I didn’t want to wait till Monday so I made a follow up this afternoon with Dr. P. I might just have to be out for a couple days.

Here’s an even shittier part, I just found out about 20 mins ago that all that work, the injury of two workers, this was all done for nothing. We were just told that the sand blaster guys found out their equipment doens’t work today. WTF!?? They knew we were going to be doing this today, they should have started checking their equipment last week.

SOOOOO when I go back to work, we have to put it all back together. How FUBAR is that?!?!

Here’s another crappy thing to add to my list of this month.  I’m trying to figure out what I did to have karma come back at me like this.

Do Work, Son!

22 07 2008

And that I have, and man have I.

In 10 days I put in 134 hours of work. I asked for extra money in this rough spot of the year and I got it, 3 folds. Lots of overtime and double time. Very little much to complain about. I saw my son for all of 8 hours the whole time. I spoke on the phone with him every moment I could. I cuddled up for the nights that was possible for me to come home. It hurt, a lot.

I have been quite absent from everything, everyone, and even myself. I’ve been trying to prove myself, not only to my boss, but to myself. If that makes much sense.

In the months of pass, I’ve grown very weary of my job. Frustrated with feeling stunted by my every daunting task. And questioning my very worth as an employee.

Though I had to sacrifice my valuable time with my son, I received a rejuvenated feeling of worth. I was given incredible challenges and surprise attacks of “bam you got 1 hour to do this make it happen.” Truly it was grueling and i wanted to cry, but I needed my faith in myself to be restored. I needed to reminded that I am pure awesomeness at my job.

Don’t misunderstand me though. I hated being away from my son. I hated not seeing him off to school. I hated having to eat each microwavable meal with another coworkers in a cold building. I hated hearing the tone of much sadness in my son’s voice. It was hard. For the both of us.

Though I needed to be reminded why I enjoy my job, above all we needed the money. Expenses have gone up dramatically. Needs need to be met. Bills to be paid and roof to be kept over our heads. A boss needed to feel much confidence in to give me my raise. Of which prior boss had set up for me already, but new boss didn’t know and screwed that up.

So I’ve done work and things have started to slow down again. I’m back to 8 hours a day. Which leaves only 3 more days of weird hours. 3 days which my son doesn’t need to be in some sort of sad state. He’ll be at J.’s house and won’t really notice my leave.

And so goes for the work end.


Nyx had his assessment test yesterday (7/21) and it was about 45 minutes long. Really went through some basic things. His letters, upper and lower, numbers, colors, shapes, body parts, etc. I feel he went through with flying colors. He stumbled a little on the Q, R, G, and S. Skipped 14-16 while counting to 20. Didn’t know where his wrist and heel was, but in all he had awesome remarks.

I get to call in tomorrow or Thursday to schedule a parent-student meeting. That’s when we get to learn what teacher he will have and group he gets put in. We then get to place all his things into his classroom and he finally gets to see where he will finally be.

Might I add, labeling every crayon, erase, marker and book is really a huge pain in the ass Especially when he has 4 boxes of the same markers and crayons.

More updates of Kindergarten are soon to come.

And to end my entry with…..


Not much I can say here. I rushed to notarize some documents last week Friday. In return my lawyers response was,

“So looks like you’ll be divorce in a couple weeks.”

Not that the last 3 years of fighting for a divorce was a fucking breeze.

Finally the Weekend!

9 11 2007

The last two weeks I’ve been just racking my brain over so many things.

The Holidays!

The hundreds of family gatherings we are going to be invited to from now till January. The presents to get family, friends, and co-workers. The birthday parties to attend and the one to plan. The decorations and festivities to plan, organize and do.


The projects I still haven’t finished, yet started. The “big wigs” I still have to impress and make happy. And the many days we back to back with non stop support till Christmas week.

My son’s 4th Birthday!

The plans that I start putting forth getting shot down the next day. I’m so close to just booking the first flight out and taking him to the car show after all. But I’m so eager to have an actual kids party for him.

No time to even just breath. Except for now. Tonight I’m relaxing. Short Stack and I prepped dinner and then Beau taught Short Stack how to cook on the grill. mmmm BBQ cow. So it’s steak, sauteed mushrooms, corn and green beans. mmmmm. So good.

Then I will slowly getting to writing up my projects for work and planning my son’s birthday. It’s still up in the air. Well I have 3 weeks to decide. I haven’t been able to do my Thursday Thirteen’s for two weeks now. I had some good lists too. Hopefully, tonight I can get to my Photo Hunters. I’ve missed the last 3 weeks. grr.

I’m off to eat some dinner with my family now. They are done and I’m already missing them.