Tomorrow is the big day.

4 08 2008

Supplies…….check.

Books………..check.

Backpack……check.

Bus Pass…….check.

Mom…………unchecked.

We can say that again. Nyx is definitely starting Kindergarten tomorrow. My heart has only sped up since last week. Only twice as fast.

Taking the wise words of advice from my son, “I’m trying to be strong son.” Not as much for him as it is for me. I haven’t gotten any better from wanting to prevent him from school. Since I enrolled him in February I’ve been waiting for a reason to rear it’s ugly head to let me keep him out of Kindergarten. I know that is a horrible thing for me to say. But I’m scared. I’m scared to let go. I’m scared to have no control over what will happen over there.

There are 17 kids in his class -including him. Only 2 of which I know from his Pre-K class. Which gives me a little comfort, but only a little. There are still 14 other kids. Kids I don’t know. Kids I don’t know if I would even like their parents.

The little boy that lives next door to me creeps me out. Sure his parents are nice, but they are drug dealers. It’s nice they don’t do it from our house. (Side note: remember we occupy the main house they live in the extension, so there is only a single wall that separates us.) But the fact that they get calls their “customers” pick the dad from the drive way and do their “transactions” else way still makes me uneasy. We live in a great neighborhood too. At least 90% of the people here work at The Company. The Company does random drug testing and no ones  during my 3 years there has gotten fired. I’m falling away from the story, sorry.

But the thing I’m getting at is the parents and kids from Pre-k are awesome people. Great influences on both my son and I. I’ve met the possible new parents and kids my son will have and it’s scary really. The kids are so mean and bully my son already. No surprise because their parents were already being dicks to me, and I know I didn’t do anything.

Here’s a good one, one of the moms stared me down because she was upset me son knew all his colors, shapes and letters at Kindergarten camp and her son couldn’t even spell his name. No where near being my fault, but apparently she though different.

I hate public schools.

But I have to learn to put those feelings and thoughts aside. I’ll only make my son paranoid and give myself panic attacks for the next 13 years to come. It’ll get better right?

After Nyx’s last day at CDC/Pre-k we took him to his new school and walked around. We even made him give us directions on how to get from our house to school. He was dead on for the directions. He even took the faster way, rather than the way I would have went.

I asked him to show me where his classroom was and he knew where it was. I walked him through knowing where to go when I drop him off and what to do while he waits for school to start. I laminated his temporary bus pass, labeled his wallet and backpack, and hopefully stuck the notion in his head that his wallet and bus pass only come out when he is boarding the bus.

I am most terrified of the bus. I don’t think I need to explain way, but Mrs. T assured that there will be someone there to make sure the kids get on the right bus. Later on through the year the older kids makes sure the younger ones get on the same bus. Which is awesome because the older kids’ parents all work for The Company.

As a present for this momentous occasion we bought Nyx his own computer. Granted it is used, but it’s rebuilt from the toe up so it’s practically brand new. It has a faster CPU, more memory, CD/DVD burner, and a card reader. Nothing on it but the O.S. so yey him! He can finally install all his computer games and doesn’t have to wait till Preston and/or I to get off our laptops to use. He thanked the guy we bought it from with a big grin and in turn the guy gave it to us $20 cheaper.

I have to admit Preston and I do want to kick ourselves in the ass for just not building Nyx his own computer. It’s not like we don’t 4 towers with motherboards in them already. It’s not like we can’t build computers either. But you know how the stereotypes go right? The best mechanic always has the shittiest running car, the carpenter has the house that’s fall apart, the therapist that his way more issues than his patients, and the computer technicians who don’t have the time to put a simple computer together for their son to they up and buy one from another technician that builds them. Yea well you get the point.

As I rivel in the last moment of the day we are finally going to go finish watching 21, I’m going to stare at my son for a few moments before I wake up tomorrow and he’s my big kid, and then take a nice hot shower.

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One response

5 08 2008
Nai

I know i know you have been a ball of nerves…both excitement and worry. But HOW DID IT GO. Was it everything NYX hoped it to be. Was he psyched, scared…i mean its one thing to be looking forward to school..another to actually go. How was it!

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